Attack Beast's Journal

Influence and Heartache

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 02:16:20 GMT

Oddly enough, this is sort of a toss-up between two people, one of whom I hate, and one of whom I'd die for. The first, Kro, who I hate, gave me a wake-up call and taught me that I am, in fact, *not* totally invincible, and that force of mind alone won't change that. I can still put up the front, but I find myself working with a little more caution than I used to.

The second to influence me the most is my wife, Rusti. The woman has had some of the worst things happen to her, but she still has the heart to love, care and dance. She's there for anybody that asks her to be and even some that don't ask. Watching her I've learned when to be a hard-ass and when to be gentle, when to love and when to hate. And sometimes, she managed these lessons by doing the wrong thing, where we both learn from it. The lesson I've liked the most though was learning to dance with her.

Does heartache make a person stronger? Mm...I suppose that's debatable. I think it depends on the personality enduring the pain. Me? Personally? I'm not sure what it would do to me in the long run. I haven't ever really had to deal with a broken heart, and I don't think, thanks to Rus, that I'll ever have to. I've always been able to rebound pretty easily from other things, but I'm not sure I'd be able to stand such a wound to my pride. It would be hard for me to learn to trust and love again.

I think it could, but quite possibly strong in the resistant sense instead of strong in the acceptance area...if that's understandable.

How do you handle disappointment?

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 06:05:44 GMT

Erm...I don't?

Okay, so the cause of the disappointment, person or object, usually gets a barrage of taunts, curses and threats directed its way.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

When it doesn't work, Rusti usually tells me to shut the fuck up and move on...

Catch-up

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 23:50:20 GMT

Seeing as how I'm still sort of a tool for FLAG, and not considered a salaried individual, I don't have a lot of money. Being able to easily get a nice gift for Rusti or someone else I care about would be nice.

Fame...I could do without that. I'm not claustrophobic, like some AIs I know, but I would really rather not have to dodge a crowd everywhere I go.

Happiness...what's the other two without it? I don't have money, but I am happy, and to be honest, that's really all that matters to me. I've got a wonderful wire who puts up with a lot of the shit I pull, and will occasionally even laugh at me when she ought to be steaming. I've got a great group of friends that rally around me when I need them, and provide some great entertainment... yeah, I'll take happiness, thanks.

I thought we'd already covered this with the 'end of the world' question in some way shape or form. I want to. I want to believe I get to go somewhere and be with Rusti if one day a shooter doesn't miss, or if I'm lucky enough to get old and die that way...if I'm able to age like that, considering as long as my body is maintained, I'm immortal.

*twitches* Let's talk about something else, okay?

What is my weapon of choice?

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 04:25:51 GMT

Of all the weapons at my disposal; each tailored to a specific use, like my tranq darts, air ram catapult, grappling hook, they all come in handy, but I think for all the long list, I prefer my size, my truck body.

I can go through walls, stop another car, pin a human against the wall, intimidate...the list goes on.

Though I've got a cool missile launcher that works really well sometimes...

What is your dream occupation?

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 00:59:04 GMT

Hmm...

Playboy editor...yeah...

That's what I wanna be.

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 18:07:47 GMT

Hmm...

I'm not sure how to answer this question, since as long as I'm maintained, and not totally melted into a puddle of slag, I may as well be immortal.

It's a pretty deep subject to contemplate, if you ask me, and not one I care to spend too much time on, since Rusti isn't immortal, and some innate instinct (maybe I'm a chicken?) would keep me from killing myself as long as I hadn't hurt her, or caused it.

I don't know. I'd rather not.

How do you view commitment

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 21:04:18 GMT

It's a promise, plain and simple, and you keep those.

End of discussion.

What do you most regret losing?

Fri, 25 Jun 2004 02:43:33 GMT

My sense of invulnerability.

Consequences never used to enter my mind. I didn't stop to think about things, I just did them. Crashing through walls, running perps down, giving Duke hell. None of it ever seemed to have a lasting effect on what happened to me. I was The Supertruck. Nothing could touch me.

Then realit started to set in. The things I did started to reflect on my teammates and I could no longer just go crashing through walls without stopping to think about how it would affect my teammates. The ones I'm supposed to protect.

And Rusti.

Yes, she's a weakness, but only in that I worry for her, about her. She is more than capable of taking care of herself.

Yeah...I miss that bulletproof feeling...where the hell did it go?

End of the world?

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 02:07:26 GMT

And it ends tomorrow, huh?

I think I'd call in sick to work, call my wife in too.

I'd want to spend most of the day with her, probably the latter half of it. Daytime would be spent with the Team I work with, laughing, joking and talking. When evening came, I'd take Rusti out to the clearing spot with the stream in it that she likes so much, and spend the rest of the day rediscovering her. Not just sex, but talking too. Just being together, since I'm an AI, and it's not a given that I've got a soul...I wouldn't be real sure if I'd get to see her again...

Er, yeah...end of the world...

Can we talk about something else?

Erm, typical day?

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 19:57:00 GMT

Sleep until wife makes me get up...I prefer to keep my eyes closed until around 9 am...but 50% of the time I'm forced to wake up around 5 by a frisky wife.

Shower after I roll out of bed.

Bust some stupid troll's ass for whatever he's done to make the world a bad place to live.

Come home and eat.

Listen to the rest of the team go over ideas and/or discuss the mission somehow.

Go to bed.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Perfect evening

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 00:45:12 GMT

Mm, perfect evening.

Coming back from a successful mission where no one in the Team was wounded, and the perp we were looking for has been arrested and will stand trial...

Having a good normal dinner that Clayton didn't bitch about fixing.

Watching a good tv show with Rusti.

A nice hot shower and then bedtime with Rusti.

Mm, yeah, that'd be a nice evening.

Who's my role model?

Fri, 21 May 2004 00:58:58 GMT

Oh...I guess I don' really have one.

All of us younger AIs look up to Kitt, but that's sorta cookie-cutter, if ya ask me.

I generally have my own agenda, and I find my own ways to accomplish my goals. There's no need to imitate anyone.

What is good and what is evil?

Fri, 14 May 2004 00:54:33 GMT

What is good? What is evil?

Sorta a personal viewpoint question, ain't it?

Good and evil, at first, were a few program parameters in the many millions of lines of code that defined 'me'. Good was obeying an order, evil was the target of that order.

Now, things are a little more complex. There are lots of definitions for evil besides a few lines of code. I now see evil as anyone threatening someone's freedom or life. Good is helping an old lady cross the street, or seeing that little kid stand between a tank and Duke and I, begging his older brother not to shoot.

Integrity, valor, kindness, courage, those belong in my definition of good.

Dishonesty, cruelty, hatred, those beling in my definition of evil.

All right Kitt...

Mon, 10 May 2004 23:21:04 GMT

Let's go four wheelin'!

~~And I'd better not have to save your fender either...~~

Which is better: Democracy or Monarchy?

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 00:16:58 GMT

Being in the team that I am, it sort of operates as a monarchy, and that seems all right with me. Rusti makes the decisions, and nobody questions her most of the time. Decisions are made fast, and everybody reacts to them in time to save lives, get something done or even just get more done in a smaller amout of time.

I guess I prefer a monarchy. It's what I'm used to, and it works quite well for what it is, as long as the right person is at the top.

OOC:

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:43:50 GMT

Mun journal here: tkr_sky_one

Places to live and odd gifts

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 01:05:09 GMT

Speedos.

From Erica.

You can't pay me enough to wear them. I'm confident, but I have to leave something to the imagination. And do you know she still has the gall to ask me why I don't wear 'em swimming?

Hmm... Right where I'm at isn't too bad. It rains, makes mud, I can go muddin', sometimes it snows, but not often, can go four-wheelin' then. Aw, what the hell, anywhere Rusti wants to go, I pretty much just follow. I don't have the emotional attachments to places that she's got, though SkyOne has been 'home' all my life, and I suppose I'd miss it on a certain level if I ever left it.

As long as I'm with my Team; Rusti, Duke, Dante, Kyle and the rest of 'em (yes, even the brat, Trek), I'm home.

Look, an internet fortune cookie!!!

Thu, 08 Apr 2004 19:16:49 GMT

How do you handle confrontation?

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 01:28:03 GMT

However it's appropriate usually.

When push comes to shove, though, I'm usually the one ending it. I am, after all, law-enforcement, and it's not really my place to start anything unless I have to. I end it however I have to: by separating the combatants, by threatening to end it myself, or by actually ending it myself, with a fist, or permenantly. One way or the other it stops. Strangers usually get the separation, threats to lives, friends or family get the other two options...the bigger the threat, the bigger the punishment.

It's my job.

Questions from texas_rose

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 01:57:57 GMT

She cheated, cuz she gave Rus the same ones, but fine, I'll play.

1) What's your SOs best feature?

Her strength. Not the physical power, but the beautiful, emotional stuff that keeps her neck strong enough to keep her head from hanging. That girl has seen enough to turn her into a broken spirit, but it's still intact, and as kickin' as ever. She wouldn't be able to put up with me if she didn't have it. As for the crass, physical, 'man' answer...she's got a great ass... :)

2) What does she do that just knocks your socks off? (And you can take that any way you want!)

She dances. Not the dancing y'all see when she's out in the open, even though that's great. I'm talkin' about the exotic dancing she used to do in a club...turned up a notch. And she does it up against me. Doesn't matter if I'm in truck form, or human form, it has the same effect on me. It's incapacitating, and I love it.

3) What's the best present he/she has ever given you?

That tattered, beat up and scarred thing she calls her heart, along with her trust, which was pretty much in the same shape when I got it. I was flattered to get either, even more flattered that she's let me keep them. I haven't ever been gifted with anything so precious. It's a great feeling, like winning the friendship of something wild.

4) The worst?

Hmm... She's pretty good at gift-giving, so times when I don't like something she's given me are rare. She doesn't even do gag gifts much. Wait...I know. A pit pass to a NASCAR race where I had to put up with her ex. I went for her, but fuckin' hell... I fought with that bastard the entire time.

5) When did you know you were in love?

When I saw her in Coronado just before she started BUD/s. She was almost 19, hadn't quite gained that SEAL edge yet, and was a little bit shy, a little bit afraid...real sweet. That gal is still there, and I love to see her just as much as I love the rest of her.

Now that I'm done being a sap...

Catching up

Wed, 31 Mar 2004 01:27:55 GMT

Most of the big decisions I've made sorta come with the area of my job, which is basically my life. The biggest that stand out to me are the places where, in the line of duty, I had to decide if someone lived or died in the span of half a second.

Those are the ones that haunt me on the nights I can't sleep. That bring to mind the question a six year old child once asked me: "Are you a murderer?" How many of those lives might have been spared and taken to trial instead if I had aimed for their gun hand, or their knees? Would I be alive now if I hadn't aimed for their head?

The decision to take a life is never an easy one. That decision will always end up being one of the biggest, not only for me, but for the poor fool on the receiving end.

Seeing as how I'm only seven years old, I don't have much of a past to speak of. There aren't many things I'd change. I'm terrible about making rash decisions, but most of them turn out all right in the end. Maybe I'd change the moments in the past where I was such a dumbass, like the time I led Duke and Erica in circles in SkyOne's ventilation system, or chasing after KRO and getting my tail blown to pieces.

Yeah...the KRO episode was a little painful, and to be avoided at all costs. But then again, I didn't know he'd do what he did. I reckon that's why we got the option to go back and change it, knowing what we know now, huh?

If you were left on a desert island, what three things would you take along?

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 18:05:19 GMT

1. Rusti - She always seems to know what to do, even if she is pulling BS out of thin air a third of the time, and even though she said she wouldn't take me.

2. A Cell phone - To call the damn coast guard. What? You think I'm gonna stay there?

3. A weapon of some sort. A Glock and some extra ammo, I think. Just in case.

Which sense would be the worst to lose?

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 01:48:27 GMT

Hearing, sight, taste, touch, smell... I'd miss any of them desparately, I can't pick just one.

I've always had sight and sound and a semblance of touch, I could feel vibration and pressure in my truck body. I just recently (well, if you call five years recently) managed to learn how to switch form like I do, and discovered a whole new world in taste, touch and smell.

I enjoy the taste and smell of the world around me. The flavor of a good steak, the taste of cold water or tea. The smell of wet dirt, rain or a thunderstorm. The taste and smell of Rusti, even. *grins a little* We won't go too far into that, it could get detailed.

Sight and hearing enable me to do my job. I can't drive myself if I can't see, and I can't respond to my partner and teammates if I can't hear. I'd be just a dumb truck without either. I couldn't protect my friends, I couldn't lay a criminal out, couldn't aim any of my weapons. I couldn't do without those two.

As for the world of touch, it's new, and it's wonderful. The intesnity of it compared to what I feel in my truck body is tenfold.

I enjoy my human senses as well as the truck ones...I wouldn't want to lose any of them. I'd get used to life without touch, taste or smell again, but I desparately need to be able to see and to hear. I guess my choice is easy.

Yeah, yeah, I stole it.

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 18:40:26 GMT

Your Name: Attack Beast Knight
Your Date of Birth: 12/24/1996
Your Question or Information:

Past

Othel - Material possessions and protection of those possessions, inheritance (can be genetic traits inherited from elders).

Present

Eihwaz - Banishing magick, removal of obstacles and delays, invoking foresight, clearing up hidden issues and situations.

Future

Neid - Need, desire, fulfilling those needs, love and sex magick, motivation created by distress.

Cast the runes here:
Rune Caster

All right, all right, I threatened her friend, so I have to play quiz catch up...

Mon, 01 Mar 2004 00:24:05 GMT

Though some of these are cool...

You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your
wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame,
they burn with light and power and rebirth.
Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an
amazingly strong person. You survive, even
flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm
believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill
you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear
failure. You know that any mistake you make
will teach you more about yourself and allow
you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater
being. Because of this, you rarely make the
same mistake twice, and are not among the most
forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and
wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion,
and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you
were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or
maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality
and know that life is tough and the world is
cruel, and it takes strength and independence
to survive it. And independence is your
strongest point - you may care for others, and
even depend on them...but when it comes right
down to it, the only one you need is yourself.
Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on
a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your
wings to guide you.You are eternal and because
you have a strong sense of who and what you
are, no one can control your heart or mind, or
even really influence your thinking. A symbol
of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very
spiritual person with a serious mind - never
acting immature and harboring a superior
disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's
stupidity and tendency to want others to solve
their problems for them frustrates you
endlessly. Though you can be stubborn,
outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Form 8, Demon: The Destroyer.

"And The Demon took advantage of the chaos
and seized civillization. With grace and
style, Demon slit The Goddess's belly and
drowned the world in her blood. The Goddess,
The Demon, and the world were no
more."

Some examples of the Demon Form are Seth (Egyptian)
and The Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Christian).
The Demon is associated with the concept of
destruction, the number 8, and the element of
earth.
His sign is the full moon.

As a member of Form 8, you are a very strong willed
individual. You don't let others' opinions
sway your own and you're usually not afraid to
speak your mind. However, some may see you as
a bit overly passionate but it's just because
you never back down from your values. No
matter what, you always do everything with
style. Demons are the best friends to have
because they will back you up.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Cool!!

Open a fortune cookie!
Username
Do you like chinese food?
Your fortune	The skills you have gathered will one day come in handy.
Is luck on your side?	(8) - It is certain. - (8)

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